i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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