Little spoons don't ask big questions
love makes seman taste better
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize