I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just puked most of my soul out..
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