Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
