sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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