How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
