so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize