Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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