Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
