Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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