I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
