you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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