I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
