Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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