he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
