what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
