dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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