I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
