Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm passing your future prison.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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