my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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