lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
