And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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