Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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