All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
