I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
