Kiss
Puke
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
