dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
