maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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