Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
