I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
