I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
