it's not cheating when I paid for it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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