I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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