drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
