I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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