i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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