Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize