everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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