I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
