See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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