He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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