its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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