I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
