got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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