he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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