I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
