I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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