i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
