He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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