his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
