wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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