He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
