guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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