I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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