Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
