it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
