You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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