i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
do nipples grow back?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
