I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize