Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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