No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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