so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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