hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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