meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
