dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
